Sitting Alone In A Married Ward

Today I decided attending church alone is not fun and Shaun working Saturday nights really stinks! Of course I already knew that because I've experienced it before but today was especially hard. When reading "The Five Love Languages" I discovered I am the love language of physical touch hands down. That means to feel loved I need to be touched. At first I couldn't imagine why I am that way but I've got it figured out. I always wanted to be hugged growing up but was too tough to let my parents know that. My family isn't really a touchy family like some. During my summers as a nanny I hugged, held, and kissed those kids on the cheek every chance I got. I loved it!!! It's also how I show my love (to certain people). :) So I was thinking, why did that have to be my love language? Having the love language of "affirming words" would be excellent for me, the wife of a man who will be gone for the next for months. If that was my language I could feel his love through his letters and phone conversations but instead I'll struggle because to feel loved I need to be touched. "My, oh my! Let's make this situation as hard as possible!" I tell myself. :) Anyway... I get distracted ALL the time! I really needed to be touched today. Shaun went to the first two hours of church with me but he was grumpy and when he's grumpy he doesn't like to be touched. That is horrible for me because I feel rejected when he doesn't touch me like usual. I try not to because I know he has a good reason, but it still hurts. To add to the fact I spent sacrament meeting alone (he went home to sleep) in our university married ward, watching all the husbands with their arms around their wife, seeing hands rubbing backs, people holding hands, fingers caressing, I heard whispers and giggles, and saw several flirtful eyes and beaming smiles. It was a preview of the months ahead with strong emotions and even tears involved, but not all hope is lost. :) I can keep smiling or be depressed and I choose to smile. I am extremely blessed! I never would have guessed I'd be where I am today at this moment in time. There are hard moments but they help me grow and I know we are doing all we need to do.